Sweet Treat

I had a chocolate chip biscuit today as a treat - and decided that it was way to sweet after finishing it. I think I needed to have it with a cup of coffee.

There was also a special morning tea for one of employees who were leaving today. So much food - and the only thing I took was the biscuit.

I have come to the point where I realise that I don't need that kind of food in my body. I don't have strong cravings for food that is ultimately poison for me. Although, I did have steak sandwich for dinner with the lot - which was very nice, but I don't think that I will be wanting anything junk food related for quite a while - although steak sandwich isn't too bad - it all tasted fresh, but the bread was definitely full of sugar; I could taste it. (I maintain that the salad, steak and egg in the sandwich is all good for me - greens and protein :-P I'm sticking to it!)

Myself and another girl at work have been trying to keep healthy over the last couple of weeks, and drinking plenty of water. We both have been averaging at least four bottles a day. The toilet has become our new friend. Although, as one of the guys at work (he used to be a nurse) has advised us, to be careful as drinking too much water can flush out electrolytes, potassium and sodium in our system. I hadn't been feeling all that well this week, feeling quite dizzy and nauseous and I asked if drinking too much water could cause dizziness from drinking too much water - as I felt similar when I was sick (years ago now ) with gastro. He said it could be possible, although my doctor (whom I saw today for a medical certificate for Monday) said that it may be a viral infection.

At least three people think it is something else. I'll have to pray about that because I'm not sure if I quite believe them. But we'll see. I'll be putting my faith in God that everything is going well, I know that He is always with me regardless.

I've had my treat(s) for the week! No more for at least another month or so :-)

The Giant Meatballs!

So I made meatballs for dinner tonight - which I have not made in years.

The dietitian recommended that making meatballs were great as you can put as many veg as you like in them and have them in a tomato based sauce.

I thoroughly enjoyed making and eating dinner tonight - two giant sized meatballs drowned in sauce.... and these are only the leftovers :-)

The hubby (Phil) and I have been doing well; losing weight and sticking to our healthy eating.

Another check-in with the dietition in a month, I would like to lose at least two kilos and build up my endurance in walking. I would love to enter a marathon (walking) maybe like 10km before the end of the year. Now to find something I can do in Melbourne...

Have a great weekend!

Keeping Positive

I have an awesome feeling about the coming week. I have just come off ALL my medications, of which I am incredibly excited about, and I aim to go to the gym at least twice this week. Easing myself back in after a week off.

I had a moment not last Thursday but the Thursday before when walking to the train station after work, I tripped on wet pavement and as I fell to brace myself I placed my hands out. As I stood back up (after a few people walked on by) I immediately noticed a pain in my neck and back. Go me and my klutziness.

I spent the week in pain and not wanting to strain myself further; didn't get to the gym. Well, I better not push it for this week, and also my mum will be coming to visit on Friday/Saturday and next weekend will be very busy, so looking forward to it!

Monthly Goal

I love September. It means summer's coming, and the weather fines up. It also means my wedding anniversary (five years today!). So I say bring on the next month!

On Thursday the hubby and I went to our follow up appointment with our dietitian, and we are both on track. In my last post, I posted about a significant weight loss - which in fact the scales were lying, they were on top of a cable (I didn't realise) which threw out the weight of the scales. I haven't lost five kilos overnight, but I have lost about four kilos since coming back from Europe (which was in June).

The goals that we were given for this month were: My husband is to cut out coke and the sweet biscuits etc that are all over his workplace, and I have to give myself a break every now and then as I have this amazing "talent" to put myself down over the stupidest things.

I also have just gotten off all of my medication for my headaches - so I am very slowly on the mend, as my neck is still doing this thing where it likes to spasm and ache and throw out any chances of me doing anything (the bonus thing is that I still can't quite clean the house - and who likes cleaning?). I'm excited and very grateful to God for giving me strength, as it's been quite a struggle in the last month.

I will also make a goal to get to the gym at least twice a week in the next month and join our Church's running group (I'll be walking - I can't run, even without the hip and neck problems). September is going to be a good month - I've set the goals, so all I need now is the motivation to not give up!

Love thy body?

It's amazing how the numbers on the bathroom scales can affect your self esteem and body confidence. I jumped on this morning to discover that I had lost about 5kg. I had to get on and off to make sure the scales weren't lying to me. If so, it's a very clever appliance that's tricking me into believing 5kg has mysteriously vanished somewhere around my midsection. My clothes don't feel any lighter, everything about my body feels the same, yet at the same time I'm imagining what one of my dresses will look like on me after not fitting into it for about 6 months. Maybe all that work and effort is starting to pay off.

After a gruelling  8 months at the gym, endless hours (and an empty wallet) of physio and remedial massage (to assist in the strengthening and rehabilitation of my hip and my neck), new glasses, new diet and taking up walking as a sport must be paying off. The irony of me being only 26 and already suffering from chronic pain are not lost on me as I should be at my most healthiest according to most health experts. I can say from experience; it sucks.

So after all this I still think those numbers on a piece of equipment someone designed so many years ago still makes all the difference. But maybe I shouldn't put my faith into something that I can smash with a hammer to decide if I'm going to feel good about myself for the day. It comes down to body confidence and being happy in the body God gives you. This is much easier said than done, especially when society tells you something else is considered beautiful. How can we compare to the images we see? And why do I get the impression designers style clothes with only one body type in mind? I can't determine my self worth and body confidence set by the standards of society, and being a Christian it's even more of a struggle not not let all that is harmful in the world to affect me. Thankfully my God is bigger than I could possibly imagine, but I do have those days.

Healty Eating

So I dragged the hubby along to a dietitian about three weeks ago. We were given a meal plan to stick to, and it's been slow, but we've managed to stick to it most of the times. I am more open to trying new things, my husband, Phil, struggles even to eat vegetables if they're not mixed up and covered in some kind of seasoning or sauce of some description. I have been making sandwiches, and stuffing them, I mean overfilling them with salad and ham etc. Today I came home from work and the lunch I sent him with today, which happened to be a quiche with no pastry. Now, when he took it out for lunch - apparently it smelt, so he ditched it and bought a chicken schnitzel on focaccia and a can of coke. I came home tonight and he told me quote "the chicken schnitzel needed more salad" and the coke was "too sweet - I couldn't even finish half of it!" To which he followed up with "What are you doing to me?" That made me laugh.

I think that with this eating plan, we are finally cleansing our system from the crap that we have been eating. And I've made a goal that I would like to achieve - I have to do a bit of research, but hopefully not much; I want to do a marathon. Not run, as I can't run - I have a bad hip, bad knee and bad neck. But to walk - that would be a good start. Maybe I could build up to running.

I just have to find out what marathons we have around Melbourne.. hmmm

Any ideas?

Diet Plan

My husband and I went to a dietitian last Monday. We're wanting to start a family, and need to get our health in serious check. To do that, we decided that we need to do this together; to get fit and start a family.

We had a bit of a talk about our current eating habbits and what we'll need to do to change. I'm a bit worried. As much as I love my hubby, he's not exactly the motivated person in the world and I know the only way this will work if I push to him to work for it. He knows what he needs to do, but I worry he doesn't understand just how much he at risk of so many health problems. I can't speak. I have a history of diabeties in my family and I'm worried I may get it if I leave my weight unchecked.

There are some people from work and we've decided to keep each other honest, which I like. I like that it's not just me in this, which it sometimes feels like that because like I said, I have to push my husband to do this.

The biggest thing is in starting a family is the fact that I have a disability. It doesn't matter how physically fit I get, the odds are I will most likely have a child with Down's Syndrom, or Mosaic Down's Syndrome - which is what I have. I wonder if it would make it easier for our child if we are fitter because being physcially fit can make a difference.

I need to make an appointment with my headache specialist to decrease my medications as the prescription meds I'm on are to help with migranes I was getting constantly. I would get a bad headache and it would last for like a week.

Someone at work asked me the other day how would I go carrying my child as I have a hip problem and also a neck problem. Feels a little like the odds are against me.

No point in complaining about it - I just need to keep on going, and make sure that my husband and I can support and encourage each other. I have a lot to pray about. A lot to think about.

At one point the hubby and I were considering IVF. I feel that by doing IVF, I'm not trusting God - and also like I'm discriminating against people with special needs, which is not the case. I do want my child to have an independent life, but at the same time, I know that this may not be possible. There are support groups out there, and I know there could be some where I live. There's just way too much to think about and I know that I just need to surrender this to God, but sometimes that's easier said than done.

I want my life to be a life of worship to my God, but I don't think I'm doing such a great job of that - I always feel that I'm forever failing at everything I do, but that could have something to do with the fact that I have stupidly high expectations I place on myself. My theory is, just because I have a disability; that I have special needs, what's that to stop me from doing everything that everyone else can? My body doesn't always catch up with my head, so that's a problem when I'm making myself sick from working too hard. Oops.

So, moving onwards, here's to getting fit and a whole lot of prayers and surrender. Go God, You are my everything!

Guest Post

This week is a challenging week with a public holiday smack bang in the middle of it. I didn't go to the gym, but I did go for a short walk today. 

On Sunday, my husband surprised me by organising this week - usually it's me doing that kind of thing. At the end of the organising of chores etc. He put at the end "Felicia will plan low calorie diet plan" "Phil (my husband) will eat what is put in front of him". For me, that is a real achievement, so I'm really happy about that and I made fish for dinner which he ate most of it - some of the veg got left behind, but it's a start and I'm proud of him of the changes that he has been making recently.

Last week some activity happened with this blog, I was approached and asked to do a guest post. As I've never done this before, so any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Please enjoy this post by David Has who has researched and complied a report - Exercise for Cancer Patients. His post is extremely informative and is worth a read. Even though I don't have cancer, I have known people who have. What David has written is good for cancer patients who need some extra motivation, or the average person who wants to get healthy.

Please read post below and any feedback is welcome. Enjoy!

By David Has

Exercise Research for Cancer Patients Continues to Grow

Exercise programs for cancer patients have popped up around the country and many of them continue to grow each year. The once anecdotal benefits of a few high-profile athletes diagnosed with cancer have been quantified over numerous studies focusing on everything from overall symptom management to increased efficacy of specific treatments. Cancer experts now advise every patient to get involved in a regular workout program and avoid physical inactivity.

One of the programs to have gained success over the past decade is the Stanford Living Strong Living Well partnership. With the help of YMCA resources and experts like Dr. Abby King, the Stanford partnership has helped more than one thousand patients find the motivation and expertise to exercise safely through every stage of cancer, from diagnosis to remission. Active research has made it possible to individualize fitness programs with the best understanding of the most beneficial routines for patients in a variety of circumstances.

Research-based Approach to Exercise

Physical activity has been proven beneficial and safe for cancer patients, but the idea can be overly vague for newcomers and those striving to maintain motivation. Most people will not have access to such a strong, community-based program, and doctors may or may not be amicable to consulting with fitness experts. Doctors may also be unaware of the latest research on specific forms of cancer and expert recommendations of different types of exercise to use in different situations.

There is a lot of good news in this area though. The number of fitness experts certified in cancer care is projected to grow in the near future. It is only a matter of time and increasing patient advocacy before all cancer clinics and insurance providers begin supporting the standard inclusion of a fitness component into treatment programs. Until then, most patients new to exercise can safely go it alone by keeping in mind a few fitness basics. Patients receiving treatment for mesothelioma, or other palliative care, will find physical therapy resources available through their clinic or hospital.

Keeping Exercise Safe

The biggest risks for patients deciding to begin a workout program are the risk of injuries and the fact that epidemiological studies show that patients tend to drop out of fitness programs at a higher rate than the general population. Injuries can be prevented by following a couple of fitness rules that apply to everyone. Newcomers should always begin with low-intensity forms of exercise with a short duration. Gradual increase in duration and intensity will prevent most injuries. Staying hydrated is also extremely important.

Maintaining motivation is difficult in the face of treatment, because the common symptoms of cancer treatment can be debilitating. It is necessary to realize that the fatigue, digestive upset, depression and other symptoms can be reduced with continued participation. A good tactic for maintaining motivation is the buddy system. Enlisting friends, family, and other cancer patients can go a long ways toward making the effort feel worthwhile. The benefits of exercise during cancer are too important to risk losing.

Forward one step, two steps back

So this weekend, hasn't been the best for me physically. I've had late nights out and have not been taking care of myself and I can feel the difference. I was at a friend's birthday this afternoon (for an afternoon tea) and found myself feeling a bit sick. After trying like mad to stay healthier, I've found that I'm preferring healthy foods, as too much sugar and preservatives just make me feel sick.

Despite the health setbacks, I've had a good weekend, busy, but it's been good. I've been catching up with old friends, making new friends and generally just having a good time. It's nice to have a weekend where I'm not at home doing well...nothing. Not to mention last week, I was at the gym 3 times last week and only Friday did I not do any strenuous exercise. (I should be a bit more active on the weekends too perhaps)

My goal this week is to go to the gym at least four times. The reason that I'm going a bit nuts is because of my overseas trip and I need to strengthen my hip, as I'll be walking everywhere and I need it to be strong enough to handle the four weeks away. I'll be leaving in 25 days (can't tell I'm counting) and I'm really looking forward to it. I'll most likely post some pics on my photography blog and facebook of my adventures. Ahh, love adventures!

Have a good week!

Getting my fitness on

This week has been going well, been to the gym three times and I plan on going again tonight - if my body will let me. I had a personal training session last night at the gym and the trainer is really good. They push me to work harder on my fitness levels which even though it's hard and body parts start hurting, I like that. It's like they're motivating me to try harder which I really like. Here's to hoping I can do four days a week!

On Target

So the last couple of days, I've been doing better. Always a good thing, and tomorrow I have a personal training appointment, and will also mark three days in a row to the gym! I'm on a roll!! I want to go on Thursday too, and Friday, a couple of drinks with friends after work. I'm really looking forward to Friday because I'll be catching up with someone I haven't seen for a while and she'll be going back home to England in a week, and I've missed her and missed our chats. She's so much fun, and just a really lovely person, I hope that she'll be able to come back.

Oh and today is 30 days until... EUROPE!!! I can't wait!! I'm going to buy a calendar and put it up in the office for all to see. Tehe

I was under my calorie goal for today and yesterday, which I'm really happy with, and really hoping I'll be able to keep it up. Oh and I have a fitness diary as well, which gives me a challenge for the next day. It's helping and I'm really grateful. I also prayed today, which I haven't done in a while, and my spirits felt lifted for the entire day. I didn't even feel guilty eating nutella out the of jar with a spoon. Oh yeah, and even doing that, I'm still under my calorie goal. Praises to God, He lifts burdens.

Here's to doing it all again tomorrow; giving to God and to not feel guilty about every bite of food I eat, whether it's the choc chip biscuit I have at work or the nutella I eat out of the jar.

Self Appreciation

So, I'm going overseas in approximately five weeks, and I'm really excited to be going.

My mother called me up about 18 months ago and said "Flea, that's it, I'm taking you overseas!" well, I was more than happy to agree, as the prospect of going overseas is always exciting. As I was going through my clothes this evening, swapping my summer clothes to my winter clothes (because that's how the weather is in Melbourne, it's best erratic, and winter starts at about April, despite the fact that the winter months in Australia, technically, are June - August) I realised how many clothes I was throwing away. Clothes from before I got married, I still had in my wardrobe in the hope of fitting into them again.

Tip: unless you are really aware of what and how much you eat, don't consider getting married until you consider his eating habbits. I learnt that the hard way. On my wedding day, I was fit and healthy- one year later, I packed on 3 clothes sizes and had gotten unfit, lazy and very unhappy and wondering how the hell did this happen?? I'll tell you what; laziness and portion distortion happened. Fast forward to today, heading into my fifth year of marriage, and I'm still struggling with that extra weight and trying to get it off. I'm much healthier than I was in that first year of marriage, despite what our family likes to tell us, and how much harder we need to try. We get it, thank you for being the constant drones in our ears reminding us of our health and well being. After all these years we're finally listening to you. But I'll never admit fault - I mean, who likes to admit to their parents that they were right after all these years?

Back to this evening: I realised that I didn't appreciate my body and hadn't for a very long time. Even at my healthiest, I didn't accept my body, thinking I was out of proportion, and now I just feel chubby everywhere with elephant thighs and a bum that may rival J-Lo's. My husband isn't complaining and it would be nice to look in the mirror and see what he sees.

Would it be ironic after all this to say that I love watching television shows "how to look good naked" and "what not to wear?" I've learnt what suits my body and what doesn't. There are parts of my body that I like, and learning to appreciate, and parts that I can't bear to look at in the mirror. I try to make a habbit of looking at myself in the mirror maybe once a day, and really look. It's a hard thing to do, but it does help. If only I could get to the point of self acception enough to not feel defeated when I throw out my favourite dress that I haven't been able to fit into for nearly six years. Maybe that's my fault; don't have anything in my wardrobe over two years old that I don't wear/doesn't fit. Then my illusions of myself will finally come to a place that's closer to reality.