Diet Plan

My husband and I went to a dietitian last Monday. We're wanting to start a family, and need to get our health in serious check. To do that, we decided that we need to do this together; to get fit and start a family.

We had a bit of a talk about our current eating habbits and what we'll need to do to change. I'm a bit worried. As much as I love my hubby, he's not exactly the motivated person in the world and I know the only way this will work if I push to him to work for it. He knows what he needs to do, but I worry he doesn't understand just how much he at risk of so many health problems. I can't speak. I have a history of diabeties in my family and I'm worried I may get it if I leave my weight unchecked.

There are some people from work and we've decided to keep each other honest, which I like. I like that it's not just me in this, which it sometimes feels like that because like I said, I have to push my husband to do this.

The biggest thing is in starting a family is the fact that I have a disability. It doesn't matter how physically fit I get, the odds are I will most likely have a child with Down's Syndrom, or Mosaic Down's Syndrome - which is what I have. I wonder if it would make it easier for our child if we are fitter because being physcially fit can make a difference.

I need to make an appointment with my headache specialist to decrease my medications as the prescription meds I'm on are to help with migranes I was getting constantly. I would get a bad headache and it would last for like a week.

Someone at work asked me the other day how would I go carrying my child as I have a hip problem and also a neck problem. Feels a little like the odds are against me.

No point in complaining about it - I just need to keep on going, and make sure that my husband and I can support and encourage each other. I have a lot to pray about. A lot to think about.

At one point the hubby and I were considering IVF. I feel that by doing IVF, I'm not trusting God - and also like I'm discriminating against people with special needs, which is not the case. I do want my child to have an independent life, but at the same time, I know that this may not be possible. There are support groups out there, and I know there could be some where I live. There's just way too much to think about and I know that I just need to surrender this to God, but sometimes that's easier said than done.

I want my life to be a life of worship to my God, but I don't think I'm doing such a great job of that - I always feel that I'm forever failing at everything I do, but that could have something to do with the fact that I have stupidly high expectations I place on myself. My theory is, just because I have a disability; that I have special needs, what's that to stop me from doing everything that everyone else can? My body doesn't always catch up with my head, so that's a problem when I'm making myself sick from working too hard. Oops.

So, moving onwards, here's to getting fit and a whole lot of prayers and surrender. Go God, You are my everything!