Sweet Treat

I had a chocolate chip biscuit today as a treat - and decided that it was way to sweet after finishing it. I think I needed to have it with a cup of coffee.

There was also a special morning tea for one of employees who were leaving today. So much food - and the only thing I took was the biscuit.

I have come to the point where I realise that I don't need that kind of food in my body. I don't have strong cravings for food that is ultimately poison for me. Although, I did have steak sandwich for dinner with the lot - which was very nice, but I don't think that I will be wanting anything junk food related for quite a while - although steak sandwich isn't too bad - it all tasted fresh, but the bread was definitely full of sugar; I could taste it. (I maintain that the salad, steak and egg in the sandwich is all good for me - greens and protein :-P I'm sticking to it!)

Myself and another girl at work have been trying to keep healthy over the last couple of weeks, and drinking plenty of water. We both have been averaging at least four bottles a day. The toilet has become our new friend. Although, as one of the guys at work (he used to be a nurse) has advised us, to be careful as drinking too much water can flush out electrolytes, potassium and sodium in our system. I hadn't been feeling all that well this week, feeling quite dizzy and nauseous and I asked if drinking too much water could cause dizziness from drinking too much water - as I felt similar when I was sick (years ago now ) with gastro. He said it could be possible, although my doctor (whom I saw today for a medical certificate for Monday) said that it may be a viral infection.

At least three people think it is something else. I'll have to pray about that because I'm not sure if I quite believe them. But we'll see. I'll be putting my faith in God that everything is going well, I know that He is always with me regardless.

I've had my treat(s) for the week! No more for at least another month or so :-)

The Giant Meatballs!

So I made meatballs for dinner tonight - which I have not made in years.

The dietitian recommended that making meatballs were great as you can put as many veg as you like in them and have them in a tomato based sauce.

I thoroughly enjoyed making and eating dinner tonight - two giant sized meatballs drowned in sauce.... and these are only the leftovers :-)

The hubby (Phil) and I have been doing well; losing weight and sticking to our healthy eating.

Another check-in with the dietition in a month, I would like to lose at least two kilos and build up my endurance in walking. I would love to enter a marathon (walking) maybe like 10km before the end of the year. Now to find something I can do in Melbourne...

Have a great weekend!

Keeping Positive

I have an awesome feeling about the coming week. I have just come off ALL my medications, of which I am incredibly excited about, and I aim to go to the gym at least twice this week. Easing myself back in after a week off.

I had a moment not last Thursday but the Thursday before when walking to the train station after work, I tripped on wet pavement and as I fell to brace myself I placed my hands out. As I stood back up (after a few people walked on by) I immediately noticed a pain in my neck and back. Go me and my klutziness.

I spent the week in pain and not wanting to strain myself further; didn't get to the gym. Well, I better not push it for this week, and also my mum will be coming to visit on Friday/Saturday and next weekend will be very busy, so looking forward to it!

Monthly Goal

I love September. It means summer's coming, and the weather fines up. It also means my wedding anniversary (five years today!). So I say bring on the next month!

On Thursday the hubby and I went to our follow up appointment with our dietitian, and we are both on track. In my last post, I posted about a significant weight loss - which in fact the scales were lying, they were on top of a cable (I didn't realise) which threw out the weight of the scales. I haven't lost five kilos overnight, but I have lost about four kilos since coming back from Europe (which was in June).

The goals that we were given for this month were: My husband is to cut out coke and the sweet biscuits etc that are all over his workplace, and I have to give myself a break every now and then as I have this amazing "talent" to put myself down over the stupidest things.

I also have just gotten off all of my medication for my headaches - so I am very slowly on the mend, as my neck is still doing this thing where it likes to spasm and ache and throw out any chances of me doing anything (the bonus thing is that I still can't quite clean the house - and who likes cleaning?). I'm excited and very grateful to God for giving me strength, as it's been quite a struggle in the last month.

I will also make a goal to get to the gym at least twice a week in the next month and join our Church's running group (I'll be walking - I can't run, even without the hip and neck problems). September is going to be a good month - I've set the goals, so all I need now is the motivation to not give up!

Love thy body?

It's amazing how the numbers on the bathroom scales can affect your self esteem and body confidence. I jumped on this morning to discover that I had lost about 5kg. I had to get on and off to make sure the scales weren't lying to me. If so, it's a very clever appliance that's tricking me into believing 5kg has mysteriously vanished somewhere around my midsection. My clothes don't feel any lighter, everything about my body feels the same, yet at the same time I'm imagining what one of my dresses will look like on me after not fitting into it for about 6 months. Maybe all that work and effort is starting to pay off.

After a gruelling  8 months at the gym, endless hours (and an empty wallet) of physio and remedial massage (to assist in the strengthening and rehabilitation of my hip and my neck), new glasses, new diet and taking up walking as a sport must be paying off. The irony of me being only 26 and already suffering from chronic pain are not lost on me as I should be at my most healthiest according to most health experts. I can say from experience; it sucks.

So after all this I still think those numbers on a piece of equipment someone designed so many years ago still makes all the difference. But maybe I shouldn't put my faith into something that I can smash with a hammer to decide if I'm going to feel good about myself for the day. It comes down to body confidence and being happy in the body God gives you. This is much easier said than done, especially when society tells you something else is considered beautiful. How can we compare to the images we see? And why do I get the impression designers style clothes with only one body type in mind? I can't determine my self worth and body confidence set by the standards of society, and being a Christian it's even more of a struggle not not let all that is harmful in the world to affect me. Thankfully my God is bigger than I could possibly imagine, but I do have those days.

Healty Eating

So I dragged the hubby along to a dietitian about three weeks ago. We were given a meal plan to stick to, and it's been slow, but we've managed to stick to it most of the times. I am more open to trying new things, my husband, Phil, struggles even to eat vegetables if they're not mixed up and covered in some kind of seasoning or sauce of some description. I have been making sandwiches, and stuffing them, I mean overfilling them with salad and ham etc. Today I came home from work and the lunch I sent him with today, which happened to be a quiche with no pastry. Now, when he took it out for lunch - apparently it smelt, so he ditched it and bought a chicken schnitzel on focaccia and a can of coke. I came home tonight and he told me quote "the chicken schnitzel needed more salad" and the coke was "too sweet - I couldn't even finish half of it!" To which he followed up with "What are you doing to me?" That made me laugh.

I think that with this eating plan, we are finally cleansing our system from the crap that we have been eating. And I've made a goal that I would like to achieve - I have to do a bit of research, but hopefully not much; I want to do a marathon. Not run, as I can't run - I have a bad hip, bad knee and bad neck. But to walk - that would be a good start. Maybe I could build up to running.

I just have to find out what marathons we have around Melbourne.. hmmm

Any ideas?

Diet Plan

My husband and I went to a dietitian last Monday. We're wanting to start a family, and need to get our health in serious check. To do that, we decided that we need to do this together; to get fit and start a family.

We had a bit of a talk about our current eating habbits and what we'll need to do to change. I'm a bit worried. As much as I love my hubby, he's not exactly the motivated person in the world and I know the only way this will work if I push to him to work for it. He knows what he needs to do, but I worry he doesn't understand just how much he at risk of so many health problems. I can't speak. I have a history of diabeties in my family and I'm worried I may get it if I leave my weight unchecked.

There are some people from work and we've decided to keep each other honest, which I like. I like that it's not just me in this, which it sometimes feels like that because like I said, I have to push my husband to do this.

The biggest thing is in starting a family is the fact that I have a disability. It doesn't matter how physically fit I get, the odds are I will most likely have a child with Down's Syndrom, or Mosaic Down's Syndrome - which is what I have. I wonder if it would make it easier for our child if we are fitter because being physcially fit can make a difference.

I need to make an appointment with my headache specialist to decrease my medications as the prescription meds I'm on are to help with migranes I was getting constantly. I would get a bad headache and it would last for like a week.

Someone at work asked me the other day how would I go carrying my child as I have a hip problem and also a neck problem. Feels a little like the odds are against me.

No point in complaining about it - I just need to keep on going, and make sure that my husband and I can support and encourage each other. I have a lot to pray about. A lot to think about.

At one point the hubby and I were considering IVF. I feel that by doing IVF, I'm not trusting God - and also like I'm discriminating against people with special needs, which is not the case. I do want my child to have an independent life, but at the same time, I know that this may not be possible. There are support groups out there, and I know there could be some where I live. There's just way too much to think about and I know that I just need to surrender this to God, but sometimes that's easier said than done.

I want my life to be a life of worship to my God, but I don't think I'm doing such a great job of that - I always feel that I'm forever failing at everything I do, but that could have something to do with the fact that I have stupidly high expectations I place on myself. My theory is, just because I have a disability; that I have special needs, what's that to stop me from doing everything that everyone else can? My body doesn't always catch up with my head, so that's a problem when I'm making myself sick from working too hard. Oops.

So, moving onwards, here's to getting fit and a whole lot of prayers and surrender. Go God, You are my everything!